5 more months.......

So I still have about four and a half months left in Brazil.  This probably sounds like forever to people in the States, the people that I’m going to be coming back to.  To me, this seems like a week.  I’ve been here for about six months, and to me the time has flown by.  Some of the people that I’ve met I’ve known for a few days, or less, and everyone I’ve met has had an impact on who I’ll be when I return.  I know that people in the States think I’ve been gone for an eternity, but to me its going by so fast and I want time to slow down.  Everyday this month I’ve gotten up early and gone to bed late with all of the things that I’m doing.  I don’t want to leave anything out.  I want to do everything.  My return date is creeping up, closer and closer every time I check the date.  Some people pray for the time to go by fast, and yet I pray to take advantage of every opportunity that comes along.  I don’t want to go home and think, “Man, I should have hung out with this person more” or, “ I didn’t hug that person enough or tell them that I love them.”  I don’t want to go home and have these thoughts.  I want to live my life here and leave knowing that everyone knows how much they mean to me.  I may never come back.  It’s a scary thought to leave your life knowing you may never go back.  When I left the States, I knew I was coming back.  That made it easier to leave.  I think that when I leave Brazil a part of me will always be here, in my exchange year, in Brazil.  These memories that I’m making this year will follow me for the rest of my life.  My friendships will fade, as much as I hate to admit it, not all of them but a lot will.  I’ve lost contact with some people I used to see everyday, and the same thing will happen here. But family never fades.  Family is forever, through thick and thin.  I had such a large biological family in the States, a church family, and very close friends that I consider family.  These people, I could never picture myself abandoning them.  I have made family in Brazil in the same manner.  I don’t think I’ll ever forget them.  I can see myself at college, on skype yelling in Portuguese while watching soccer.  Some people you just can’t let go.  Family.  I’ll be seeing them all in less than five months, but I’ll also be leaving my family at the same time.  It’ll be harder and easier this time.  I know where I am going and I know who I am going to see there.  But it is harder in that I’m leaving people I may never see again.  I’ll know where I’m going and where I’m from.  

I love this song.  I was introduced to it while I was here, and I think its amazing.  I think about this song when I get homesick.  But home is where the heart is, and I have had so many homes here it is impossible to keep track.  My definition of home used to be wherever I had family.  Now, I view it as a place where I can go and feel loved and be comfortable.  And that is almost every place that I've been here.