Goodbyes

Goodbyes have always been really hard.  I’ve had to say loads of goodbyes in my life.  Some have been long term, where I wouldn’t be seeing the person for a very long time; some have been short term, where I’ll just be seeing the person later.  I’ve said more long-term goodbyes than I can count in my preparation to come to Brazil.  There are too many short-term goodbyes to count; I say them everyday to nearly everyone that I see.  The last person that I said goodbye to in the USA was my mom.  She came back with me, and waited for about an hour with me.  She, at first, was not going to be allowed to, but she ended up getting to anyway.  We shared a cinnabon and more goodbyes.  It was really hard to watch her walk away from me that day.  I knew that I would be seeing her again.  In 11 months.  That’s a really long time.  I know that when I leave Brazil and come home, it’ll mean even more goodbyes.  And no one will be able to walk back with me and wait with me until I get on the plane.  This goodbye will be more permanent.  Saying goodbye to people in the USA was difficult, but we all knew that I would be back in a year.  Last Saturday night I said my first long term goodbye in a really long time.  It was bad.  It was rushed, the goodbye only lasted about 15-20 seconds.  My friend had left to go and get some water, and my mom showed up to get my friend, and me so I called him and told him to run back.  Which he did, and I hugged him and said everything that I wanted to really fast and said goodbye.  He told me that with technology these days that he would always be there for me, no matter what.  And then I had to go.  I actually teared up on the car ride home.  And I won’t be seeing my friend for at least 11 months.  Goodbyes are different for everyone.  Some people prepare for goodbyes, others just let them happen.  In my time here, I’ve learned that not all goodbyes are permanent, some of them really just mean, “I’ll see you later, we aren’t over, and me not being here isn’t going to change our friendship.”  Saying goodbye is hard, but it’s not the end; it’s really just a new beginning.  Saying goodbye to one person is just opening your heart up for more people.  And I’ve spoken to my dear friend since then, and I’ve spoken to people in the USA, and I have this blog.  Goodbyes aren’t really goodbyes.  All of my goodbyes have turned into “I’ll talk to you later!”